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What in Heaven’s Name is it to Pray Attention?

In The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran writes, “You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance. For what is prayer but the expansion of yourself into the living ether?”

The way I see it, you and I are living prayers. We are feelings being felt, thoughts being shared, ideas being manifest, walls being built, and the compassion that levels us all. We are luminosity brightening darkness, a word spoken, a touch that hurts and heals. We are brave and bold and broken open so that we’ll shine.

Yet, how can you and I shine when it feels dark, and life seems uncertain?

I looked in the Bible for guidance and found the apostle Paul speaking to the ‘Thessalonians,’ which metaphysically means, tossed by the waves. The people he was speaking to were stressed out, wanting to know what to do, just like us! And in Thessalonians 5:17, Paul says to them (us), Pray without ceasing.

Whaaat? You may by thinking, are you kidding? I’m busy here. I’m freaking out; and besides that, I can’t get in full lotus position or sit on top of some sacred mountain, all the time!

Clearly there’s a disconnect here. What, I wondered, did Paul mean by, ‘pray’? For help, I looked at the scriptures just before and after, and something started to holy shift in me… Thessalonians 5:16 says, Rejoice evermore, and 5:18 says, In everything give thanks. Ah-ha!

I think Paul was giving us timeless wisdom for living a more conscious life; by saying, to us all, pray close attention to whatever is taking place, right where you are; and live in gratitude, constantly.

“You are here.”

In Mary Manin Morrisey’s book New Thought, I wrote: You’ve all had the experience of coming into a shopping center and trying to locate yourself. You find one of those maps that has an arrow and a little sign that says, “You are here.” I like those, because you’ve got to know where you are in order to orient yourself to your world. “You are here.” Have you accepted that? You may as well face it. This is it – as good as it gets. It is not a rehearsal. This is life. And so the question becomes, “How am I going to show up? What am I going to do now?”

So, I started a ministry with a goofy, play-on-words name to encourage us to follow Paul’s advice; and then I created this course to help you remember how to shine from within, no matter how rough it gets out there.


A Mother’s Love

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

— Maya Angelou

A few years back, I was offered a position teaching GED to adult incarcerated men. It was one of the most transformative experiences of my life. I loved many aspects of my job, but one of my favorites was graduation day. 
Joey was a kid; barely 20. He was indoctrinated into the gang life by his older, and now deceased brother, at eight years old. I met him when he was 19, fairly new to the prison system, for a gang-related crime that got him a 19-year sentence. He looks young, much younger than he was. And he looks innocent; like really sweet, and innocent. He has deep brown eyes, long eye lashes, and a little kid smile. He is, in my middle-aged mind, an “adorable kiddo”.  I got to know him pretty well when he was in my class. I found out that he didn’t want to be in the gang; he joined because his brother made him, and now he is stuck for life.
When Joey earned his GED, he invited his mother to come to his graduation. He had told her about me and how much he appreciated me listening, encouraging, and celebrating him, each step of the way. She wanted to meet me. On the day of the graduation, Joey came in, looking nervous, but happy.  He joined the others at the cap and gown table, getting his picture taken, and then sitting close to the visitor door, awaiting the arrival of his mother.  
Sometime later, a small woman walked in and Joey quickly jumped up and hugged her hard. She began to sob in his arms, and he stroked her hair, choking back his own tears, trying to comfort her. Eventually, they sat down, and we started the ceremony. When I looked up, I saw them sitting, arms entwined, his head on her shoulder and her cheek on his head. In that moment, he looked like exactly what I always saw; a sweet little boy whose mother loved him deeply.  
After the ceremony, people started to leave. My eyes fixed on Joey and his mom. I could see that she was ignoring the departures. I could see the devastation through her strength, as she gathered herself up and started to walk to the door.  She kept looking back at her son, who kept watching her, too. She sobbed but kept her head up and eventually she lost eye contact with him.  As she walked away, my heart broke over and over again, for her. All I could think was, that if I were her, I would be sobbing and screaming, “He’s just a baby! He’s my baby!  Just let me take him home with me. I promise he won’t do it again! He needs me! My baby needs me!”  
Trust me, I get that he did bad things to get locked up.  I may have a soft heart, but I do understand the need for public safety, more so because I have worked where I have encountered some pretty scary people. Still, as a woman, I can feel her pain. This is her baby boy, her only surviving son and she had no choice but to leave him behind.

That is a question that I ask myself often. What can I do?  


Every person inside is the son or daughter of someone. Many have people who love them very much. They are human beings, though many have done very inhuman things. And through it all, it is our responsibility to love them, to support them, to be their keeper. That is how we honor God; by honoring all of God’s children, not just the ones we agree with.


I Am Not My Thoughts

‘There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind—you are the one who hears it.’

— Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul

After reading “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer my life improved because I stopped attaching emotions to my thoughts. I realized that overanalyzing the future is futile since the mind knows nothing about the future. I was once again reminded how the voice of the mind never stops.

Recently it was my daughter’s birthday and as I do every year with all my daughters (I have 3) I called and sang the “Happy Birthday “song, leaving it as a message. The following morning I woke up in worry and beginning to spiral downwards as she did not call me back or respond to my birthday message. Thus began my mind and body having some powerful feelings (thoughts). First was worry, is everything all right? Second, sadness, my daughter did not even think enough about me to thank me for the call. Third, guilt, I guess I deserve this because I was not that great of a Father to them when they were growing up. These thoughts just came pouring into my consciousness and I began to feel tension and a lack of peace.

I became very aware of this upset and was focusing my attention on these feelings. I was losing my sense of Self and was becoming attached to the negative energies created by my thinking.

Then I stopped as I reminded myself:

I am not my thoughts; I am the one who is aware of my thoughts.

What I share with you is a common reaction within all of us and creates a life ruled by negative energy because we are constantly bombarded with outside events that demand our attention. We become absorbed in this way of life. Here is what you can do the next time you feel you are spiraling into downward negative emotions. Remind yourself of the following:

Constantly and daily applying this awareness in my life allows me to remain peaceful and separate from the negative demands for my attention. I notice them, release them, and remain present to who I really am.

I’ll end with another great quote from Michael Singer for you to ponder. ‘If you’re willing to be objective and watch all your thoughts, you’ll see that the vast majority of them have no relevance. They have no effect on anything or anybody, except you. They are simply making you feel better or worse about what is going on now, what has gone on in the past, or what might go on in the future.’


Year of the Influencer – Ester Nicholson

The Roadmap Home: To the Authentic Self with Ester Nicholson, author of Soul Recovery – 12 Keys to Healing Dependence. She turned her incredible journey from addiction to freedom into a practical program that heals the root causes of unworthiness, shame and trauma. Her unique approach reveals the spiritual depth and healing power of the 12 steps and removes the stigma of addiction.

Ester’s story of addiction and recovery is featured in a 30-minute presentation on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN). Her appearance on Super Soul Sunday’s “In Deep Shift” clearly touched a nerve. She survived the ravages of addiction and discovered something miraculous …. SOUL RECOVERY – The Roadmap Home.

Follow Ester online:


What is Your List?

“Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.”

— Oprah Winfrey

The mind and intellectual abilities are very powerful. The more we understand how consciousness and thoughts work, the greater our ability to make it through whatever situation emerges as a result of our thinking.

After watching the news, you begin to realize how influenced you become by the emotions of one person’s name, which I will not mention here, but I bet you are thinking of the person even without me mentioning it…Yes you are!

It becomes clearer than ever how important it is to think and speak about the people who model our innate values. Those who speak a universal truth and those who inspire us to become better human beings. I ponder on the people who have given the soul sorrow, or who have been deceitful, angry, manipulative and negative and the impact it would have on our soul compared to the ones who offered hope and joy.

The reality was two different truths. The one who inspires us to become better makes the soul stronger, clearer and closer to God.

The one who makes our spirit dark takes us down a tunnel with no way out. Now, I do know, we give folks permission to access our soul field which then triggers what we believe in and become. So, at the end of the journey it will be about us and the choices that we make. However, it all begins with our thoughts. What we think we become.

Look around at the friends you keep. The space in which you live. The way you carry yourself. All of this is the result of your thoughts. So, I found myself thinking about all the folks who I have loved and have been inspired by. Each one carries a value, a virtue, something graceful, divinity, nobility and a vision greater than themselves. I then realized the more I thought and spoke of folks who inspired me to soar, the more it was worth adding them on my list below as the folks who have impacted me in a good way. I am keeping my eyes and heart opened to those who are about to enter my fields of consciousness and evolution. What is your list?

As Oprah once said, “Breathe. Let go and remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” You are in control of your thoughts. What do you want to think about today?

I have to say I think of all the people who went out of their way to make life better for me and everyone else. When I have thought of them, I was inspired to keep living a life of greater truth, values and dignity. To be myself and to trust my pure thoughts from above to guide me and those around me towards a life of compassion, generosity, sacrifice, courage and joy. What is your list?


Break Down or Break Open

“We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.”

— Ernest Hemingway

For most of us there is a time in our lives when we have fallen so hard, that if feels almost impossible to get back up. We are left on the ground shattered in shame, disappointment, anger or grief. You can feel the fire pulsate in your breathing, feel the burn at your core and the ashes drifting in the air. The thought of regaining composure or a sense of normalcy as we have known is almost inconceivable. Some refer to this as the ‘dark night of the soul’, a place that some of us will visit, and never wish to stay.

It is here where we are left with questions and choices:

“When we have been through a trial and survived it—or better still, transformed its terrors into revelations—then we begin to approach other adversities with a different attitude. Change and loss may still knock us off the horse, but soon we are back in the saddle, stronger and wiser than ever. As life progresses, and we continue to transform and refine our consciousness, we gain more insight and humility, greater strength of character, and deeper faith in the meaningfulness of life” – Elizabeth Lesser

The choices here are personal… and critical.

I am grateful for my own experience where I found the light in my broken pieces. I managed the darkness with unfaltering support from the people I loved the most and those who crossed my path with an uncanny connection to my heart.

And…there are those who wish to stay there a little longer by divine choice.

So, when and if this experience is a part of your journey – just ask the question:

Will you stay awake, feel the pain or go back to sleep and live a compromised life?

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Forgiveness – the Journey Home

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” 

— Nelson Mandela

Forgiving someone who has abused you—blind-sided you with abandonment, betrayal and rejection—is the hardest frigging thing you will ever have to do.

I know from first hand experience what it’s like to be born to a mother who couldn’t show you love, but freely showed your face to the back of her hand. I know what it’s like to give your heart to a man who suddenly forgets that he loves you and speaks to you as if you’re his fifth cousin’s gardener. I have felt the cut of betrayal by someone who I thought was my ride-or-die-sista-girl-friend—but who apparently was having a totally different relationship with me. I have had the sick feeling in the pit of my gut by having my name omitted out of my own brother’s obituary. OUCHHH!!!

But I had to forgive. I had to—or I was gonna die. I had to be willing to die to my story—my seemingly justifiable blame and need for revenge—so that I could truly be alive again—and so that the “years that the locusts had eaten” could be restored back to me.

I’m writing this blog because, I’ve learned something really profound this time around in my life. My life experience has provided something of real substance to teach. But the biggest reason for writing this blog is because I need you to know that true emotional and spiritual liberation is real. It is possible and it is your divine birthright. But in order to have it, you must want it more than you want that relationship, that career, the money or anything else. You’ve got to want – the Real You more than anything else in the world! She’s waiting for you to return home to your authentic bad-ass self!

Trust me, if I can do it – anybody can!

As I said: forgiveness is the most challenging thing you will be called upon to do for yourself. Not for them. You.

Because if you don’t deal with your stuff, your stuff will find a way to deal with you.

It is an emotional and spiritual requirement to forgive if we want to experience true freedom, fulfillment, health and prosperity. Not because there is some judgmental Higher Power up there somewhere that requires us to forgive others in order for us to be forgiven (“forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespassed against us”), No. That is an outdated power dynamic of forgiveness that will never work because that kind of forgiveness is based in the illusion that you have to kiss up to the big guy (and there is no big guy up there – the power is within you), and be a doormat for people who were abusing you.

I later learned (when I got up off the floor for the millionth time), that I must profoundly forgive others in order to return to my authentic and essential nature of wholeness, empowerment, confidence and safety. I must raise my energetic frequency to the level of that desire and that reality. Because until I did that, my life was like having one foot on the accelerator and the other on the breakI was pushing and pushingand going absolutely nowhere but under.

Let’s get real, sometimes it feels downright delicious to hate on, judge and have a running negative commentary about the person who has harmed us. When we are in resentment, we run an automatic program that incessantly cycles our negative narrative over and over again – even when we’re pretending to think about other things. It’s so insidious that it feels normal because some of us have held on to anger and resentment for so long—and have identified with it so completely—that we can’t tell where the “real” vs. “imaginary” us is anymore. We are unconscious to the realization that resentment is the very reason we are blocked from vibrant health, success, financial abundance and fulfillment. 

I’ve been in recovery for thirty-three years, and have written twenty Fourth Step inventories on my mother [For those who may not be familiar with the Alcoholics Anonymous “Big Book,” the Fourth Step is a truthful, deep life-inventory of the issues that contribute to our addiction].

The Fourth Step may have saved my lifebut didn’t restore it. It gave me relief and released layers of false perceptions and pain, but it didn’t get me home. I still quite enjoyed hating and blaming my mother for every terrible thing that ever happened in my life—even though the pain was easier to bear.

Through years of experimenting with every healing modality I could think of, so I could finally feel safe in my own body, empowered, confident and free—I uncovered the necessary steps to achieve deep and lasting forgiveness. I call it The Healing Code of Forgiveness.

It is the forgiveness process that is based on the teachings of Soul Recovery, which are effective, powerful and guaranteed to work—if you are willing to see things from an entirely different perspective and commit yourself to it. There is a link at the end of this blog for more information, if you are interested.

Soul Recovery Forgiveness acknowledges that we have been deeply hurt, and must make room on our healing journey to fully process our pain about the situation. Often the people we are holding resentment towards have caused us much more harm than we’ve ever caused them.
While we acknowledge that fact and show ourselves deep compassion throughout this process, we also cannot pull over and park in the pain and story of the past, or be in competition about who did what to whom. It is our story that holds us in place. 

Once we have identified, acknowledged and processed wounded emotions, we must go deeper than the event or circumstance, and get down to the elemental causes and conditions — because that’s where the boundary to our freedom lies.

Our business is to heal and to set ourselves free, no matter who caused more harm. And the first step is to be “willing” to understand that—while we may indeed feel abandoned, rejected, betrayed, unsafe and not good enough—we must also accept that a particular person, though connected to those emotions, is not the cause of our suffering. They simply point to our deep core beliefs and attachments that were likely present before we even came into contact with that particular person or situation.

Our minds are so powerfully adaptive, that we have inadvertently and subconsciously attracted the people, conditions and experiences that are a perfect match to the core wounds and hardwired negative beliefs we hold about ourselves.

Like attracts like.

Have you ever disconnected or dropped someone from your life because they hurt and abused you or didn’t respect your boundaries, just to find yourself having the same experience with a different person over and over again? Why? Because the core wounds and beliefs embedded in your awareness follow you wherever you go, and will show up in most of your relationships and experiences. Remember what I stated earlier: “If you don’t deal with your stuff, your stuff will deal with you.”

I used to think that I had an invisible banner written across my forehead that read “all really screwed up and emotionally unavailable men – please come be my man”, because I kept repeating the same unhealthy relationship patterns with the same man—in a different body living in a different zip code—over and over again! I have come to understand that it wasn’t the men in my life that was at the root of my problems – it was the belief system I held about myself and the core wounds I lugged around with me every day.

I also used to believe that my mother was the cause of my core wounds, until I came to the radical understanding that—as awful and abusive as she was to me—that she was not the cause of my pain, but the mirror of it.

Trust me, this was not easy for me. I came into that understanding kicking and screaming – because I was invested in my story: that my mother was the reason for every terrible thing that ever happened to me. But my ultimate realization set me free.

This is a pretty radical idea because—from our wounded perspective—we justifiably think, “how the hell am I responsible for my pain when I was the victim of the abuse?”

I totally understand any resistance that may be coming up for you right now. This was a difficult transition for me to make as well—but it is the very releasing of your resistance to seeing your pain from a different and higher perspective that will set you free.

What I’m about to say is radical and extremely sensitive – but I must share this perspective with you – not to give you back your power, but to help support you in remembering the power within your very being that has never left you.

Beloved, we are eternal beings!

Our souls are infinite and unlimited. We live in an orderly Universe—and are indeed expressions of that Universe. We are not independent of it. We are IT! If the Universe were not orderly, harmonious and perfect, it would implode and destroy itself. It would not have existed for billions of years.

From this larger perspective, we have soul contracts and agreements that are working out on many different levels. We are so powerful, that we have courageously chosen to heal at this time in our existence—no matter what it takes—and there are times when it has taken us to our knees in pain, confusion and despair. We didn’t choose our experiences on a level that we are consciously aware of. And we don’t become consciously aware until our souls know that we are ready for it. You are not to blame and there are no mistakes.

But you have chosen to be here in this lifetime. The opportunity is given to heal our karmic vows and agreements to unworthiness, shame, abandonment—and all of the other life diminishing addictions that keep us disconnected from our highest self. Our souls do not require that we suffer. But it does require us to awaken to our authentic, amazing and powerful selves. Our egos, on the other hand, sometimes have to be shocked, traumatized and dragged into re-awakening to what we really are and who we are destined to be—as whole, perfect and complete expressions of the infinite.

Holding others to account for the offenses they have perpetrated upon us is not wrong. That’s called discernment and not being in denial about the facts. But the facts of our life do not have the final say about who we are. Blaming the guilty for our core beliefs about ourselves is disempowering, because it means that we are enslaved and in bondage to our suffering until they change or apologize. And even if it came to pass, has any apology ever really set you free? Probably not. An apology may temporarily validate the position and perspective you are holding onto, but it doesn’t have the power to set you free.

It substantiates your rightness, but not your joy.

Healing the core wounds that “others” have ripped the bandages off of and re-triggered, is independent of whether anyone ever apologizes, changes or forgives us. Our freedom is independent of any person, circumstance or condition. Forgiveness sets us free and gets us home! Where is home? Your real, authentic, empowered, clear, centered and confident self!

For every condition, there is a divine and perfect solution, and the perfect tools to reveal the healing that is perfect for you. You don’t have to figure this out or do it alone. Let’s get down to the core of your forgiveness process and get you safely home!

If you are interested in using the “Healing Code of Forgiveness” process, I have created a powerful video series that takes you step by step through the forgiveness process, which includes inner child healing; EFT (emotional freedom technique); healing karmic agreements with your core wounds; and energetically facing and releasing the person who you have been holding resentment towards.

In this course, I take you through the forgiveness process from beginning to end, and you don’t need to know anything special to follow this powerful and transformative path. I highly recommend it!

A Prayer of Forgiveness:

There is a divine infinite power within me, that is love, safety, harmony, order and grace. I am one with this power. It is not separate from me, but is indeed within me and is the reality of my being. From this place of oneness with all the love and power that there is, I speak my word for myself (insert your name here), knowing that all past traumas of abandonment, betrayal, rejection and shame are uprooted from my very core and dissolved into pure love. I am healed at the deepest level of my subconscious mind, regardless of people and conditions. It is the power within me that forgives and transforms my pain into the good for all concerned. I don’t have to make it happen. I simply show up for myself in a way that I never have before, and allow the love within me to make the crooked places straight and to bring me safely home to my true and authentic self.

I am so grateful for this realization, this understanding and my perfect healing through the power of forgiveness.

It is done. It is finished. Amen!
I love you,


From Misfit to Mystic

“United we stand; divided we are merely a distraction.”

— Temple Hayes

I find it interesting that when this quote first came to me a few years ago I thought of it relative to organizations, communities, societies or families. As time went on, I realized this statement is most significant when it comes to my life experiences as a gay person.

United I stand, divided I am merely a distraction.

I was divided as a teenager when I realized that I was much more drawn to women rather than men. I had feelings for a young woman a little older than me, yet the church said I was going to hell. My grandmother actually mourned that she would not see me in heaven. Here I was just 14, without even a driver’s permit, and my grandmother is telling her former favorite granddaughter that she would not see me in heaven. A part of me died a little and felt divided.

The deeper truth of the matter was when I was 10 years old, my mother was accused of having an affair. We lived in a small southern town and to this day, I still do not know if it was true or an accusation. What is true is in the 60’s the South was just like they featured in the famous film ‘Prince of Tides’. We put things under a rug and don’t look back. We don’t talk about anything that makes us uncomfortable. We medicated before we meditated. We have so many untold secrets and some of the secrets keep us up at night.

When this accusation happened involving my mom, I was sent up North to be with family and my mom was sent to a mental hospital and was gone for a long time. They used barbaric shock treatments on her and she was never the same. She returned with very little of her memory in place and has experienced physical difficulties due to those methods. We never spoke of these events again. I certainly tried to but no one would engage.

Needless to say, when my father walked in on me at 13 ½ and my teenage “more than a friend” lover, my parents took me to the Mental Health Clinic. My father was not going to have a homosexual daughter (we didn’t really use the word gay then). That day was a defining moment in my life for I was not going to be sent away to some hospital and put in a straight jacket. However, I can clearly see now that I did get a straight jacket placed upon me metaphorically speaking that I would wear unconsciously for many years.

I was forbidden to ever see my teenage first love ever again, and I went from being the family favorite to the one who had whispers around her name. The hurt of abandonment and betrayal was often unbearable. I found a new way, I drank the feelings away and became a full blown alcoholic for the next 15 years.

I created a quote which states “to wish upon a star is progress; to know you are a star is evolution.” I meant this related to the fact that all of us are born with a purpose.

As Mark Twain said, “There are two important days in a person’s life, the day you were born and the day you discover why.” The dichotomy for me was I was always connected to God but the God the preacher talked about hated me and would destroy me in eternal hell. That’s a lot for a teenager with no safe place to turn.

I was always drawn to the crescent moon and star so when I was 18, I had a tattoo put on my arm (love note, tattoos were cool then). My aunt who already believed I was of the devil shared that I needed to remove the crescent moon and star off my arm for it was the Islamic flag. Well who knew that; certainly not me. Years later I would discover that on the day I was born the crescent moon and star were shining in the sky.

There is always a deeper connection which is why evolution is so necessary. I found Unity, a nondenominational spiritual center, when I was nineteen.

It was the first time in my life I heard God loves everybody. How is this possible when all my life I had heard about a God I wanted to love yet based on what I was told a God who wasn’t for me. My minister realized over time that I volunteered for everything and came to every activity so one night she invited me to dinner. We were discussing food choices and I said I want you to know I am gay and she continued to talk about food. I said, “did you not hear me?” She said, “ yes, but in Unity being gay does not matter for God loves and accepts everyone.” For the first time in my life I felt like I belonged and took probably the largest full breath of life I had taken since I was born.

I felt undivided.

Often these emotions are so deep, the pain so great that even as we mature as adults the emotions underneath are making those subtle decisions for us. The emotions are our bus driver. They are our straight jacket. I was so terrified through my early years that people in white uniforms were going to take me away. It was so clear, I didn’t belong anywhere; I was a misfit. The longer I have lived the more I realize As long as there is an unresolved need to belong, you will always be weakening your strengths, possibilities and self esteem. This underneath feeling would call my name many times as a child raised in the 60’s until I was over fifty years old. Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death; isn’t that what it states in scripture?Needing to belong was my shadow and one day I had the greatest epiphany of my life. In a few moments, I went from grieving to immense laughter. I found my freedom. I am an original and unrepeatable creation of God and I will never belong. Yipppee, The angels sang, and I was resurrected. I claimed my space from misfit to Mystic. I laughed for an hour and I have been in joy ever since. My entire life made sense and for the first time ever, I was undivided and absolutely clear.

There’s a great teaching from David Friedman and his book The Thought Exchange which supported me to heal old wounds. David shares how often you will have thoughts of fear or discomfort yet they are only sensations, they are NOT YOU. I starting using this awareness in different situations of my life and one day on an airplane a woman seated beside me started conversing with me and said what does your husband do and “the sensation” took over my whole body. I stayed with the feeling and said to her, I don’t have a husband, I have a wife and no one died when I said it. Most importantly, I didn’t die a little by changing the subject or shutting down my heart. I embraced the sensation of freedom.

There is a statement that says, each time we share our story, the power and pain of the story divides by the number of people we share it with. This experience on the plane gave me courage to move forward. At the time, I taught the new members class where I was the Spiritual Leader and I told the story of why Unity matters to me. I spoke my truth to 44 people acknowledging clearly how Unity had saved my life and no one died and no one quit the church. Actually, people applauded. The next week, I told the community on a Sunday to hundreds of people and I thought Well that was powerful as they gave me three standing ovations during my heart share. I thought I had completed my task at heart sharing for I had greatly healed the belief that I would be abandoned or betrayed.

Two weeks later, Lifetime television called and I thought NO WAY yet I did it, I shared my stories from my young childhood and was free from the closet for my OWN lifetime. My life since has been dedicated to teachings which unite and heal the divide within for anyone who has been shamed by religiosity or toxic family systems.


The Language of Infinite Possibilities

“Language exerts hidden power, like the moon on the tides” 

— Rita Mae Brown

Today I will speak and use the language of infinite possibilities.

I will not hold my life or my family’s life back by proclaiming and affirming any type of language that is in limitation or lack.

If you know that you are in the presence of an infinite God and that you are in any way shape or form in relation to that spirit or power I want you to use the power of the word to bring into manifestation what it is that you seek.

We will no longer affirm that we are in a state of lack. We will no longer affirm and close our hearts and minds off to the possibility of change in another person by casting spells over them with limiting non-current language saying that “they will always be what they have always been” for we know we will see in others what we focus on. We know this is what we have called into our awareness by the language of the thinking mind and our concentration on an aspect of a multi-dimensional being.

Focus on what you want to see grow. Speak into a future that brings about a powerful shift of consciousness and explosive growth on what aspect of a person, place or thing we feed with our language and intentions.

Where our attention goes energy flows!

If our language or vision for the future for a situation or person in our life is in alignment with “the way things have always been” then we will continue to get more of that.

No matter how much self-help we do or books we read…our power and presence and words co-create with that one infinite power, and that power is indiscriminate, if you want it YOU WILL get it.

Some of us use language in a robotic and habitual way, bringing into manifestation without conscious effort while unconsciously repeating patterns and creating a life that we don’t want.

Let us be conscious of the language we are using. With an awareness from this point forward recognize if the words you speak are empowering or disempowering of yourself and those around you. Will you continue perpetuating “the way things have always been” or are you creating from a place of infinite possibilities?

It’s time to break free from the habit of being yourself!


Holding on to Nothing

“Life is balance of holding on and letting go.”

— Rumi

As we continue to navigate new ways of being in the world, I realize it is time to let go. Let go of all the material things that no longer fit my new life. Let go of all the old stories in my head that no longer serve me. Let go of all the ways I think it should be; or thought it would be. I have been holding on too long and now it’s time to let go. For this season I am committed to holding on to nothing.

The Hopi Elders share the truth that is ever present in the world today: “There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. See who is in there with you and celebrate.”

It is a time to surrender to what is and trust the moments that lead us to the next. A time to recognize the resistance that lives in the undercurrent of our lives and intentionally change the trajectory of our thoughts. As we lean into ‘letting go’ we may experience fear, self-doubt or sadness. It is here where we learn to be comfortable in being uncomfortable and we take our next best steps.

Find your faith…

Find quiet moments in your day to pray, meditate or just be still. Trust there is something outside of yourself that is ever present and powerful. Choose faith over failure. If you have faith, you have hope, and when you have hope you always see a way. When you see a way, you never give up. And no matter what, never ever give up!

Keep your mind and body healthy and whole…

Go to the gym, take a yoga class, find a running track…anything! Find something that keeps your mind and body connected, healthy and working together, because in the times when everything else seems disconnected, it will keep you centered and grounded. Your physical wellness is the starting and ending point to everything In between.

Love what is…

Trusting in the universe that where you are is where you need to be in the moment. Truly knowing that every experience comes with your own personal power of choice. It is the daily affirmation that ‘it is not what happens to you, but what you choose to be in the outcome’. This is a discipline of our own thinking and a muscle that must be worked daily.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath; don’t default to drama…

In the moments that are unpredictable and heart wrenching, take a moment to find your center. An initial reaction of blame or guilt will fuel a fire and feed a story. Take a deep breath, and let your breathing be your compass. Drama is an unhealthy and unnecessary platform — nothing good lives here.

Live in a state of gratitude — even when it’s hard.

Learn to be truly and sincerely grateful for what you have…and not what you wish you had. Look closely at your personal blessings no matter how big or small. Your gratitude for what ‘is’ will be a game changer no matter where you are in life. In the wake of this practice, you will find peace in your mind and calm in your heart.

The river is flowing fast and it is time to let go of the shore. It is time to embrace what we do not yet know and celebrate holding on to nothing — you may be surprised what you find.

As a life-long learner and student of human potential, I believe in vulnerability, authenticity and connection. I have learned that we all experience seasons and chapters in our lives that are sometimes hard to navigate. We struggle with unexpected scenarios and hunger for simple solutions and in the end we all yearn to be heard and seen — without judgement. This is life, our life, our journey.

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Being Heart-Thoughtful Leads the Way

“The heart-brain dynamic modulates and regulates every function of the body and brain, influences our endocrine glandular functions, immune system, capacity for body healing, all memory and learning, DNA activity and of course All relationships.”

— Joseph Chilton Pearce
Are there days when you feel like you radiate with clarity and a sense of calm? And no matter what comes your way or how busy you are, whatever happens, it all works out – even the challenges? Those days you feel a sense of integrity and trust yourself fully as you lead with confidence in your personal and professional life. When worry, stress, or feeling overloaded sneaks in…
You can also, without a doubt, remember the days when you were highjacked and disconnected. And maybe you thought you shouldn’t be. It may have started with a challenging situation or stressful thoughts. You couldn’t see the light. Your radiance and your resiliency seemed to drain away, forgotten in a moment. You lost YOU and then navigated without your sense of ease and confidence.
During those times, it was easy to move into automatic pilot. You didn’t fully consider all aspects of your decisions but just did whatever you needed to get through the day. Perhaps your body’s natural protective system of the ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ kicked in.
When this happened, you became disconnected from your heart. You let your mind run with unhelpful stories, and your ability to fully listen to your intuition or hear your inner wisdom fell by the wayside. In those times, so did your ability to lead yourself and others as effectively as you usually do.
So, how do you get YOU back? How do you reconnect to your inner leader, and have compassion to guide yourself and others effectively?

The Heart-Thoughtful Mindfulness Connection

We know that being mindful reminds us to be in the moment. By adding “Heart-Thoughtful” to mindfulness you introduce another aspect to your life creating a partnership of the heart and mind. This partnership is invaluable in being an effective, resilient leader.
Being Heart Thoughtful empowers you. It helps you reclaim your confidence, clarity and calm. The strategies and ways of being Heart-Thoughtful along with leading with your heart followed by your mind creates resiliency.

Effective leadership in both personal and professional situations involves being Heart-Thoughtful. Use simple, easy, resilient, Heart-Thoughtful Mindfulness strategies! Imagine having a sense of wellbeing that brings joy and calm as you create space for new possibilities!

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What Stands in the Way is the Way

 “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”


— Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor (121 – 17CE)

It takes courage to be an Authentic Leader like Marcus Aurelius, who over two thousand years later is still quoted and deeply admired for his leadership abilities and his wisdom to utilize obstacles as creative opportunities to advance and build a great nation. 
As I reflect back on my career path, I now realize how every impediment and obstacle I experienced propelled me to action and ultimately guided me to the work I do today. 
As new immigrant to the USA I encountered many impediments at the beginning of my new life in the New World. One of the obstacles getting in my way at that time was gaining admission into Graduate School. My degree from Ireland and the administrative rules and regulations during that time were standing in my way of getting into a Graduate Degree Program in Counseling. 
I had my heart set on and wished to pursue only this Master’s degree in counseling. The only options presented to me at that time (if I wished to pursue that particular graduate program), at that institution, was to complete another Bachelor’s Degree and reapply to Graduate program many years later. I was 34 years old at the time and completing yet another Bachelor’s degree did not feel right to me. 
However, the denial into that particular program led me to reconsider other ways to get into different Graduate Schools. I took the “no” at that time as an opportunity to take a different career course in my life via a different graduate degree program. Less than two years later, with a Master’s Degree, I was accepted into a PhD program and focused my attention away from Counseling to Research and Educational Administration.  
The new way led me to a very successful career in Higher Education for 18 years (Teacher Education, Researcher, Textbook author, and the creation of degree programs) and prepared me for the work I now do today at Looking back on my life I now see that all the obstacles I encountered back in the 1990’s guided me onto the path of Higher Education and prepared me for my role as Dean of Education and co-creating with Rev. Dr. Temple Hayes. 
Though I never took the original route into licensed counseling I eventually found other ways to satisfy my soul’s needs to help and encourage others. I found another way I be present for others who may just need someone to talk to or listen to them. I now spiritually counsel as an Ordained Minister. As a Reiki Master, Certified Professional Life Coach, and as an E-RYT 500 Yoga Instructor I guide meditations, teach Yoga, motivate and encourage people to make positive changes in their lives. 
I now see how spirit guided me and illumed every step of my way. I can now affirm the times of greatest difficulty and struggle in my life were in fact the times when I was most definitely guided to a new way; guided on my soul’s path journey.

Try doing this instead:

See your obstacles guiding you forward on your life path and soul’s journey. What stands in your way is showing you the way-be open and see it will take you further than you could ever have imagined.

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