Create a Blueprint for a Happy, Resilient Family

by Bonnie Snyder, Ed.S., CPC and Jan Rysdon, M.A., CHt.
“Every time I mess up is a chance to practice.”

— Marshall Rosenberg

Being Heart-Thoughtful will support you in creating a blueprint to be a happy, resilient parent and have happy, resilient children! One way to be Heart-Thoughtful and strengthen your blueprint is to “speak giraffe.” Do you speak ‘giraffe’ or a ‘jackal’? Or maybe a combination of both. Confused? Before you answer, read a bit further.

In every family there are times of dissension and sometimes out-and-out “war.” What causes us to be at “war” in our family, with our children, or with others in our lives? It probably starts with two different points of view. Then it may move into feelings of self-blame, blaming others, or believing things are unfair.

It may be a request that isn’t heeded, such as “Please pick up” or “Stop arguing with your brother,” which then escalates from a simple request into war. Parents and children either learn how to get what they need in a positive, encouraging way or in a frustrating, “war-like,” angry, demanding, self-confidence-shredding way.

The latter is the language of the Jackal. When we feel judged, not respected, accused, or unfairly treated, we react with the fierceness of the jackal. The language of the jackal is using sharp words to criticize, judge, analyze, and separate as defined in Nonviolent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg.

The Giraffe, on the other hand, feels into things with its heart. Giraffes are “Heart-Thoughtful”—which means the heart leads and is followed by the mind. When you speak giraffe, you “unify, connect, and look for solutions.” You look at differences as an opportunity for choice or to approach the situation in a different way. The giraffe feels into things with compassion for self and for others.

The giraffe’s Heart-Thoughtful way of thinking can help you focus on your children’s perspective and behavior in a more expanded way. The most important piece for your blueprint is to find that inner place of empowerment and compassion. As Marion Badenoch Rose, Ph.D., illustrates in Nonviolent Communication with Children, Heart-Thoughtful parenting helps meet the needs of all. Nonviolent communication—Heart-Thoughtful communication—allows you to shift your thinking from good and bad judgments to heart-mindful connections. 

When your child says or does something the opposite of what you expect, you can blame yourself or blame your child and speak jackal.

Or you can ‘Speak Giraffe’ and be Heart-Thoughtful:
Before starting a war, put your blueprint to work—connect to your heart like a giraffe to approach the situation with compassion and nonviolent, Heart-Thoughtful communication.

Calling All Parents, Grandparents, Leaders, and Teachers

Join Jan Rysdon and Bonnie Snyder for their FREE COURSE Heart-Thoughtful Parenting Tips & Strategies. Essential for any parent or leader working with children and  seeking practical strategies and tips to empower children to develop resiliency and self-reliance. You’ll learn why resilient parents and children can be empowered to respond rather than react to life.

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Jan Segers Rysdon, M.A., CHt., (formerly known as Jan Ballantine), taught children in first grade through middle school for nine years before moving to the college level in 1981 while obtaining a master’s degree in Teaching English as a Second Language when she lived in Puerto Rico. At St. Petersburg College she taught oral and written communication skills, created the last online course (Public Speaking), and coordinated an international health education grant program. After retiring, she became a hypnotist, stress management consultant, and mindfulness educator. For over 30 years Jan has been practicing self-hypnosis and visualization techniques as well as teaching them to clients, students, and the general public. Currently she is co-developing Heart-Thoughtful Mindfulness materials with Bonnie Snyder; they currently have two books available on Amazon. As a volunteer at an elementary school in Tarpon Springs, FL, she helps children read, write, learn English, and study various subjects.

Visit Jan at www.JanRysdon.com and www.HeartThoughtfulMindfulness.com

Bonnie Snyder, Ed.S., Certified Professional Coach, Graduate of the Authentic Happiness coaching program (Positive Psychology), with a Diplomate in Energy Psychology. Bonnie supports and inspires her clients in overcoming their challenges and finding their inner happiness. Her book, Angel Violet’s Magic Wings, wisely guides children to trust their heart and to take time to notice how they feel. Bonnie brings her background in teaching, counseling, and coaching at elementary as well as college levels, where she has taught Empowerment and Communication Skills. She has also conducted vocational testing and stress management programs. She incorporates “power therapies” and trauma-based modalities not only with children and families, but also with businesswomen and men. Her focus on simple techniques to quickly manage and overcome stress and to release old patterns has helped hundreds of individuals. One of Bonnie’s specialties is supporting highly sensitive and intuition women and children.

Visit Bonnie at Diamond Pathways and www.HeartThoughtfulMindfulness.com

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